Don't pull that plug!

Our growth, our happiness, our peace of mind, our comfort in times of trial, all depend on connection, and most of us only understand the concept and the nature of connection by going through life's rough patches, the periods of dis-connection.

We know what it feels like to be disconnected, and it ain't good. Disconnection feels lonely and a little paranoid; it takes just about all our strength to keep going, and in that condition, if we don't keep moving we can get severely depressed. (As a matter of fact, depression is extended disconnection, when we've lost touch with the comfort and life-sustaining energy sources in our own hearts and in those of other people.)

In disconnection we take everything personally because we have no sense of who, or where, we are in relation to the rest of the world; defensive posture is all we have in the face of constant, if ill-defined, threat. It's all about ME when I disconnect, and there's no comfort to be had; my demons have taken over, the noise from their accusations and taunts drowns out everything else. There's no such thing as love, only fear, only sorrow, only rage. Or nothing at all -- depression. When disconnection grabs hold, the only defense against immobilizing depression seems to be distraction, using addictions -- to substances, or to sex, or to sustaining a state of busy-busy-busy -- as a "safe" source of energy and motivation, rather than that of connection and intimacy. Addictions and distractions don't help the situation; in the end they exacerbate it. Sooner or later there's a lull in the action, and after such noise, such frantic activity, the silence and the loneliness is terrifying.

There are plenty of people who live in dehumanizing disconnection for years; they've no mechanism for receiving love or comfort, nor for giving it out. When they look out at the world, they find only reflections of their own frightened, sorrowful, angry psyches; either the world is out to get them, or, worst case, the world doesn't know they exist, and they live entirely alone. In Hell.

Well, ick.

If this is the case, then we'd best all find a way (and the courage) to connect; it isn't hard, really. Connection is what you get when you love, and vice versa. That's all there is to it; if that sounds a little too pat, then insert the word "acceptance" for "love", and that will do the trick, because they really amount to the same thing. As soon as we say something or someone is unacceptable, we pull our own plug and we're off again, vox clamatis in deserto.

All the answers to life's (persistent!) questions are the same: Yes.